Feedback on 1st draft of video

Link to first draft:

This is my feedback looking back at my first draft

At 0:10 the clip is too static, so I will reshoot the clip and include him getting ready. Plus, I will make it clear he would rather choose to spend time with her.
Performance shots need Ken Burns effect to give it movement. (Unable to do as editing software I am using doesn’t have it)
At 0:46 the walking section will include him texting his mates who send him immature messages, to further emphasise the narrative.
During the long performance shots, such as 0:51, it will be intercut with him writing about his new best friend. This footage will be sped up.
During the last half of the video as not a lot happens, I will intercut new footage of him ‘choosing her’, by cutting between pictures of them and cancelling messages and calls from his usual mates.

Emily - A Level Media